Episode 12: Marriage
The Joy of the Family
An opening mediation
“Husbands love your wiife as Christ loved the Church”
As we turn toward the Sacrament of the Marriage, we must start by understanding God's vision for the family. A few years ago, the Church held a synod (a large gathering of church leaders) to discuss the ways in which cultural experiences and pressures were deteriorating the faithful's ability to make marriages work. Below is a section of the Post-Synodal Apostolic Exhortation, Amoris Laetita, written by Pope Francis to relate the significant findings of the Synod to the faithful. It is a beautiful reflection on the Theology of the family and we will focus on several key sections this week. The beginning section here is meant as a reflection on the biblical importance of the family.
In the Light of the World. The Bible is full of families, births, love stories and family crises. This is true from its very first page, with the appearance of Adam and Eve's family with all its burden of violence but also its enduring strength (cf. Gen 4) to its very last page, where we behold the wedding feast of the Bride and the Lamb (Rev 21:2, 9). Jesus' description of the two houses, one built on rock and the other on sand (cf. Mt 7:24-27), symbolizes any number of family situations shaped by the exercise of their members' freedom, for, as the poet says, "every home is a lamp stand". Let us now enter one of those houses, led by the Psalmist with a song that even today resounds in both Jewish and Christian wedding liturgies:
“Blessed is every one who fears the Lord,
who walks in his ways!
You shall eat the fruit of the labour of your hands;
you shall be happy, and it shall go well with you.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots
round your table.
Thus shall the man be blessed
who fears the Lord.
The Lord bless you from Zion!
May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem
all the days of your life!
May you see your children’s children!
Peace be upon Israel!”
9. Let us cross the threshold of this tranquil home, with its family sitting around the festive table. At the centre we see the father and mother, a couple with their personal story of love. They embody the primordial divine plan clearly spoken of by Christ himself: "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female?" (Mt 19:4). We hear an echo of the command found in the Book of Genesis: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh (Gen 2:24)".
10. The majestic early chapters of Genesis present the human couple in its deepest reality. Those first pages of the Bible make a number of very clear statements. The first, which Jesus paraphrases, says that "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them" (1:27). It is striking that the "image of God" here refers to the couple, "male and female". Does this mean that sex is a property of God himself, or that God has a divine female companion, as some ancient religions held? Naturally, the answer is no. We know how clearly the Bible rejects as idolatrous such beliefs, found among the Canaanites of the Holy Land. God's transcendence is preserved, yet inasmuch as he is also the Creator, the fruitfulness of the human couple is a living and effective "image", a visible sign of his creative act.
11. The couple that loves and begets life is a true, living icon – not an idol like those of stone or gold prohibited by the Decalogue – capable of revealing God the Creator and Savior. For this reason, fruitful love becomes a symbol of God's inner life (cf. Gen 1:28; 9:7; 17:2-5, 16; 28:3; 35:11; 48:3-4). This is why the Genesis account, following the "priestly tradition", is interwoven with various genealogical accounts (cf. 4:17-22, 25-26; 5; 10; 11:10-32; 25:1-4, 12-17, 19-26; 36). The ability of human couples to beget life is the path along which the history of salvation progresses. Seen this way, the couple's fruitful relationship becomes an image for understanding and describing the mystery of God himself, for in the Christian vision of the Trinity, God is contemplated as Father, Son and Spirit of love. The triune God is a communion of love, and the family is its living reflection. Saint John Paul II shed light on this when he said, "Our God in his deepest mystery is not solitude, but a family, for he has within himself fatherhood, sonship and the essence of the family, which is love. That love, in the divine family, is the Holy Spirit". The family is thus not unrelated to God's very being. This Trinitarian dimension finds expression in the theology of Saint Paul, who relates the couple to the "mystery" of the union of Christ and the Church (cf. Eph 5:21-33).
12. In speaking of marriage, Jesus refers us to yet another page of Genesis, which, in its second chapter, paints a splendid and detailed portrait of the couple. First, we see the man, who anxiously seeks "a helper fit for him" (vv. 18, 20), capable of alleviating the solitude which he feels amid the animals and the world around him. The original Hebrew suggests a direct encounter, face to face, eye to eye, in a kind of silent dialogue, for where love is concerned, silence is always more eloquent than words. It is an encounter with a face, a "thou", who reflects God's own love and is man's "best possession, a helper fit for him and a pillar of support", in the words of the biblical sage (Sir 36:24). Or again, as the woman of the Song of Solomon will sing in a magnificent profession of love and mutual self-bestowal: "My beloved is mine and I am his... I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" (2:16; 6:3).
13. This encounter, which relieves man's solitude, gives rise to new birth and to the family. Significantly, Adam, who is also the man of every time and place, together with his wife, starts a new family. Jesus speaks of this by quoting the passage from Genesis: "The man shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one" (Mt 19:5; cf. Gen 2:24). The very word "to be joined" or "to cleave", in the original Hebrew, bespeaks a profound harmony, a closeness both physical and interior, to such an extent that the word is used to describe our union with God: "My soul clings to you" (Ps 63:8). The marital union is thus evoked not only in its sexual and corporal dimension, but also in its voluntary self-giving in love. The result of this union is that the two "become one flesh", both physically and in the union of their hearts and lives, and, eventually, in a child, who will share not only genetically but also spiritually in the "flesh" of both parents.
Weekly
Prayer
Intentions
To be prayed daily
Pause for some silence
Pause for some silence
The Sign of the Cross
Start by touching your right hand to your forehead, then your stomach, followed by your left and right shoulders while saying "In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Amen"
Prayer to our Redeemer
Most high and glorious God, Enlighten the darkness in my heart and grant me right faith, Sure hope, and perfect charity.
Fill me, Lord, with understanding and knowledge, That I may fulfill your holy command. Amen.
Specific intentions:
Lord, let married couples shine as beacons of love and charity for all to see.
Lord, help us to revere marriage as the sacrament you designed for us.
Lord, grant us fulfilling lives in your service, however we are called to serve you.
Personal intentions:
Please add your own intentions here.
Our Father:
Our Father, who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Glory Be:
Glory be to the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be world without end, Amen.
Weekly
Journal
Prompt
Weekly Readings
Marriage means very different things to Catholics than it means to the non-religious. It can even mean very different things to Catholics than Protestants, as Catholics elevate marriage to the level of a sacrament. How does the modern, secular view of marriage and the family affect your own family relationships? How do you resist forces that can weaken marriage? Take a few minutes to write down your thoughts on these personal reflections.
Click on the Link to download each of the articles for further reading this week.
The Sacrament of Marriage
Why does marriage mean as a Catholic? Click here to download
Marriage and Conjugal Love
What is the role of sex in marriage? Click here to download
Love in Marriage
What is love, exactly? Click here to download
Weekly Activity:
This week your task is to spend some reflecting on whether you are called to marriage.
Whether you are called to be married, become a priest, join a religious order, or remain a member of the single laity, you need to spend some time discerning in what direction God wants you to go. Discernment is an active process of continuing to ask yourself questions as you navigate life's circumstances.
So your task for this week is to spend some time reflecting on the following questions:
DATING
What are your motivations for dating?
Are you dating primarily to look for companionship?
Do you consider dating to be a method for evaluating potential partners for marriage
What criteria do you use to evaluate who you should be dating?
Do you continue dating someone after you have already decided that you would probably not marry them?
MARRIAGE
Do I feel called to marriage? Do I feel marriage is expected of me?
Would I be interested in marriage without this perceived obligation?
Would you be willing to put the needs of your spouse above the needs of your spouse over the needs of your own?
Would you be able to make marriage more important to you than your career?
CHILDREN
Do you want to have kids?
Is your willingness to have kids a consequence of parental pressure?
For example, do you feel like you should have kids, because your parents expect it?